


cold evening aches

by graesun



Category: The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Gen, Major Spoilers, Post Death Cure, Spoilers, seriously if you haven't finished the trilogy then don't even read the summary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-10
Updated: 2014-01-10
Packaged: 2018-01-08 05:01:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1128632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/graesun/pseuds/graesun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Newt haunts Thomas but he can’t bring himself to tell Minho what a horrible friend he is (prompt by mfeobaby) via mazerunnerficfest</p>
            </blockquote>





	cold evening aches

**Author's Note:**

> This was a prompt by mfeobaby on Tumblr that I found on mazerunnerficfest (that you guys should totally contribute to in any way you can, because TMR needs more fic!)
> 
> I hope this is okay, mfeobaby! It was a great prompt. :)

The nightmares start on the first night he spends in The New World.

The group of 200+ immune are sleeping around numerous campfires; the group around Thomas' campfire consists mainly of Gladers, and so the first thing he sees when he finally jerks awake is Minho. The other boy is sat atop his miserable patch of leaves and across from Thomas, his knees bent and elbows resting upon them. He stares at the fire but looks at Thomas when he sits up.

"Nightmares," he says. Thomas nods. "I have a feeling they'll be sticking around for a while."

_Kill me._

Thomas knows he'll hear those words echo in his head for many nights to come.

**-x-**

For weeks, he has the same nightmare.

It starts with wide, panicked, mad, blue eyes. Then the long, blond hair fades into view, and Thomas hears him; _I trusted you_. He feels the pistol in his hand that aims between his best friend's eyes. _Now do it! Do it! Kill me or I'll kill you!_

Thomas feels the same churning fear and pain in his stomach; his heart clenches and his blood rushes and he knows he could never pull the trigger, not on his best friend. Not on Newt.

_Do it before I become one of them! KILL ME!_

Those wide blue eyes stare down at him with a madness Thomas could never comprehend.

But then the mad, blue eyes soften, and the voice turns from panicked to pleading, and Thomas sees that his best friend is no longer himself.

 _Please, Tommy. Please_.

With a heart full of lead, Thomas pulls the trigger.

When he feels Newt jerk and then fall, that's when he finally wakes up, breath heavy, skin covered in sweat, hands clenched in makeshift blankets.

Minho is already awake in their hut. He's packing things in a bag and doesn't even turn to look as Thomas attempts to calm himself. After months of living together, Minho must be used to it.

"Alright?" Minho asks when he slings his bag over his shoulder. When Thomas nods, Minho says his goodbye and leaves to join the other Explorers.

Throughout the day, Thomas works as usual; he builds and helps others build and tries not to think about his life before The New World.

**-x-**

"Are you ever going to tell him?"

Brenda has brought him to their favorite spot beside the lake; it's the most secluded area, surrounded by trees.

"No," Thomas says as he fiddles with a twig he found on the ground.

Brenda is silent as she watches him for a moment. Then she turns to look at the lake and says, "Minho worries. He told me you still have nightmares like no other."

"We all have nightmares."

"Yeah," Brenda says. "But we both know that for you, it's not that simple."

Thomas breaks his twig in half and doesn't speak.

"You don't just have nightmares about grievers and cranks, do you?"

Brenda is one of Thomas' best friends. She's smart and kind and beautiful, and she knows way too much about him. Thomas breaks his twig even further.

"I never have nightmares about grievers and cranks."

"That's why I worry about you."

Thomas stays silent, content with his twig and the silence. Brenda sighs and kisses his cheek.

"You should think about talking to Minho," she says. "He would never blame you." She gets up and goes back to The Community. Thomas knows he should get back, too, but he stays for a few more minutes.

When he does leave, his twig has been broken into tiny pieces that he tosses into the lake.

**-x-**

Thomas isolates himself the next day. For whatever reason, he feels every awful memory bearing down on his heart. His mind is weary, and he needs to be alone.

During break, he finds himself atop the hill that they usually use for Gatherings. The area around him is deserted, although he can see The Community from where he sits with his back against a tree.

He closes his eyes, leans his head back. Tries to relax and forget about his life before The New World.

"Nice place."

Thomas jumps and scrambles to a standing position. He looks around, looks for the owner of the voice. _That_ voice. The voice that once comforted him but now haunts him every night.

"Not a single crank in sight. 'Cept I guess I've bloody ruined that now, haven't I?"

Thomas looks up, and there he is. Newt sits on a branch with one leg swinging peacefully below him. The blond glances at Thomas with a smirk before jumping down to the ground.

"Am I really that ugly? Close your mouth, Tommy."

Thomas takes a step back. "What are you doing here?" _You're dead_ , the rational part of Thomas' brain supplies. _This can't be real_.

"I just thought I'd come see your 'New World.' That's what you call it, right?" Newt squints into the distance and points at Thomas and Minho's hut. "Your place, isn't it? Reminds me of the Homestead."

Thomas nods, speechless.

"And Minho's place, too, of course." Newt's voice softens as he asks, "How is Minho?"

Thomas attempts to speak, fails, swallows, and tries again: "He's… Our leader. As always."

Newt smiles a small smile and nods. "As always."

They stand staring at The Community below them before Newt finally speaks again.

"You should let it go, Tommy."

"It?"

"Me. Let me go."

Thomas looks down, wishes he had a twig to break. "It's not that simple."

"You grieve over Teresa and Chuck," Newt speaks, his voice growing harsh and angry. "You grieve and cry and wish they were alive and you move on. But I'm the one that gets to stay with you. That gets to follow you into your sleep and then dragged around with the rest of your bloody baggage." He's still looking out at The Community when he finally whispers, "Just let me go, Tommy."

"I wish I could," Thomas says, grabs at the part of his shirt that covers his chest and heart. "I wish I could."

"Thomas?"

Thomas looks up to see Brenda trudging up the hill towards him. "Who are you talking to?" She asks. "Are you okay?"

Thomas finally looks to where Newt stood, but no one is there.

**-x-**

Getting ready for bed, Thomas wonders what it would be like to tell him. To say, "Minho, I saw Newt after the Crank Palace. He asked me to kill him, to put him out of his misery." Thomas wonders how Minho would react to just that part of the story, wonders if Minho would punch him before Thomas could even say "I'm sorry."

Minho sits on his palette and looks at Thomas. "You alright?" He asks.

"I'm okay."

Minho stares. "You shuckin' liar. You've been strange all day."

Thomas sighs and lays on his palette as his friend continues to watch him. He wonders and thinks about Newt and thinks about Minho and wishes things could have been different.

"It's hard," Minho responds to Thomas' silence. "I get it. But we have to keep going."

"I never said I was stopping."

Minho shakes his head and laughs. "You shank." He lays down. "You'd tell me if something was wrong, wouldn't you?" Minho says quietly into the darkness of their hut. "You can talk to me."

Thomas closes his eyes as his heart lurches. He wonders how it would feel to tell Minho; if he'd feel relieved or just empty all over again.

_He would never blame you._

Thomas wonders if Minho has let Newt go.

"Thanks, Minho," Thomas says before he falls asleep and returns to his nightmares.


End file.
